My friend Mikayla sometimes complains that when you google her, a bunch of food pictures from this blog come up before anything else. This is only partly true, but since today is her birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIK!) I thought I’d do her a favor and add some pictures of her drinking tequila and buying stuff at Walmart to the online mix. Yes, these things are connected; read on for the full story. It’s a bit long, but I promise it’s worth it (and I promise this is eventually centered around food).
It was a Friday; the Friday before Memorial Day, to be exact. Mikayla and I had dreamed of going to the Caribbean for the long weekend, since we are island creatures and miss our natural habitat living here in NYC. However, funds (lack thereof) got in the way, so our only option was to hop in my trusty car and drive to a beach. Since I’m always on my state-visiting-mission, I suggested Delaware, and Mikayla reluctantly agreed.
Firstly, Mik had been mentally prepared to tell her friends, family and coworkers that we were casually hopping down to the islands for the long weekend, but then it turned out she had to futilely attempt to explain to people why on earth we were headed to Delaware, of all places (in the end, we standardized our response to rude eyebrow raises and “Why Delaware?” interrogations: “DELAWARE BECAUSE YOLO!”). The second thing that didn’t go as planned was that she had to clean out the pile of trash that I’d accumulated over the past few weeks on her side of the car; notice how this was early enough in the day that she still wore a smile (although it does look forced).
The next thing that went wrong was that it started to rain and then our three-and-a-half-hour drive took us, and I’m not being hyperbolic, TEN HOURS. Yes, we could almost have flown all the way home to Hawaii in the amount of time it took us to drive from New York City to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. It was a combination of bad weather, the holiday rush and just-plain-shitty drivers, but it happened. At first our excitement sustained us, but towards the end our resolve was truly beginning to waver. And that’s when we finally pulled up to our creepy, seemingly abandoned Airbnb apartment (which was really an extremely tiny two-bedroom house), in the dark. We walked around to the side door and let ourselves into the dimly lit kitchen / living room. An old lady was snoozing on the couch; she sat up to tell us she was in town bird-watching, which totally freaked us out because we both dislike birds and can’t imagine that spying on them would be a legitimate activity, much less one to travel and endure strange old couches for. As if we couldn’t become more discouraged at this point, we went into our room to find that it smelled quite musty but at least had the two twin beds promised. The problem was, there was no bedding. We rechecked our Airbnb confirmation and saw that indeed, neither of us had read the fine print. Completely exhausted, starving and dejected, we retreated back to the car and drove into town in search of food.
We had to pay to park, another stroke of bad luck, but we found a Mexican restaurant that looked ok so we went inside and promptly ordered their largest margarita. As Mikayla said, pulling out her mascara, “There’s nothing a little makeup and tequila can’t fix.” And indeed, shortly thereafter she looked like this:
[photo has been removed per Mikayla’s request]
Not only did we make friends with old people at the bar, but the bartender gave us each a plastic gold medal. Someone else gave us free Dos Locos pens and stickers. Things seemed to be looking up for us.
We munched on chips and salsa, relaxing a bit. That’s when we looked around and realized we were flanked by a large group of lesbians on one side and a large group of gay guys on the other. And that’s when we realized we’d accidentally gone on another gay-cation. The first was when we accidentally stayed in Philadelphia’s Gayborhood, with a nice gay man who thought we were a lovely lesbian couple. It’s true, you can see his review of us on my Airbnb profile. This is when our stress finally fully dissipated, and we just laughed at our whole hilarious situation. It was time to settle in and enjoy some Mexican food.
I ordered a chicken quesadilla, which was completely stuffed and delicious. With sour cream on top and a salad on the side, it was at once decadent and balanced.
Mikayla had some sort of burrito, which she said was really good also. We obviously could have just shared one dish and still have been stuffed, but by this time we really felt like we each deserved a full meal.
After dinner it was time to revisit our sleeping situation / conundrum. The only thing we could think of was to head to the Walmart we’d seen on our way in, and so we hopped back into the trusty car yet again. You can see in this picture that by now we’d fully accepted our situation and were at peace with the universe (more likely we were giddy off of tequila and exhaustion, but we’ll just pretend. And don’t worry, I’d taken it easy on the tequila since I knew I’d have to drive again). We picked out a super cheap comforter and two small blankets. I also bought a unicorn pillow pet, since we had no pillows and it was only $10 and ok, yes, I liked it. Mikayla highly disapproved of this…
Until we got back to the house, and she realized it was really comfortable. That is when I lost my rights to the pillow pet.
Our cheap bedding only covered one bed, so we had to share the tiny twin for three nights. Good thing we were on a romantic getaway. I don’t think we’ve ever been so grateful for a [mediocre] night’s sleep.
Dos Locos Stonegrill
Location: 208 Rehoboth Ave. Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971 Phone: (302) 227-3353